December 2011

No, I am not suggesting you go back and read a classic novel in the midst of your holiday preparations. Rather I'm alerting you to the dangers of building up those holiday expectations.

It's something we all do, I think, especially those of us who not only love the Christmas season, but make a business of fantasizing about the perfect holiday. In my fictional worlds and in my life, I always imagine a Christmas season filled with joyful family gatherings, a landscape covered with snow, the sound of carols, and the scents of freshly-cut Christmas trees, sugar cookies baking and giant mugs of hot cocoa. Let me tell you, I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of times in my relatively long life that all of those elements have come together in the way they do in books...even mine.

Of course, living in South Florida at this time of year, I can pretty much forget about snow. And I stopped baking cookies around the time I started writing fulltime and no longer had office mates to gobble them up so I wouldn't. But even with the guaranteed absence of those elements, my expectations start to climb around mid-November, then sink like a rock right about now when reality sets in.

Just the other day I was talking to an old friend from my college days who knows me pretty darn well. I was bemoaning some disappointment that threatened to sap all the holiday spirit right out of me despite countless hours of listening to carols on the radio and watching Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel. He pointed out something that should be obvious, but often isn't.

"The key is to forget about expectations and focus on enjoying what is!" That is, of course, the key to joyous living, isn't it? Live in the moment. Don't whine about what's missing, but cherish what's here. Seize every single second of fun. And remember that giving is absolutely better than receiving. I think that's why so many people have gotten caught up in the spirit of giving this season. Those so-called lay-away angels receive something just as precious as the gifts they're helping others to buy. There's true joy in knowing that their act of generosity made Christmas better for others.

So, with Christmas only days away, I encourage you to take a moment to savor whatever IS in your life. And, if you want to be truly blessed this season, find some simple, random act of kindness you can perform. It doesn't have to be as grand as paying for someone's lay-away purchases. Tell the clerk at the fast-food drive-through you'd like to buy the meal or drink for the person behind you and wish them a merry Christmas. Or offer to drive an elderly neighbor to church on Christmas eve. Or take a plate of cookies to someone on your block who doesn't have many holiday visitors.

Whatever you do, may it fill your heart with the spirit of season. Merry Christmas, everyone!