Be careful what you write...
Is there such a thing as email etiquette? You know, the kind of guidebook about email that Emily Post used to write about getting along in the world? If so, I haven't seen one, but I am frequently reminded that there sure is a need for such a thing.
How often, in a business or personal situation, have you started to fire off an angry email in a fit of annoyance or exasperation, only to stop yourself at the last second? Or, worse, how often have you hit SEND, only to regret it the next second?
That's the thing about email. It's quick and all-too-easy to react impulsively, not choosing our words with care. And as if that alone wouldn't be bad enough, an email doesn't come with an image of the sender or his or her tone of voice. Next thing you know that quick response has been misinterpreted, taken as a serious or biting comment, rather than the witty little joke you meant to make. And someone's feelings are hurt. Or there's a rift in a friendship or business relationship.
I've certainly received my share of emails from strangers, family or friends that imply a negative tone that may not be intended at all. Sometimes I'm tempted to fire back an equally snippy comment. Sometimes I've even done just that, only to find out the person who sent the original email never intended the message I received.
So, here's something to consider, even in the most casual email exchanges...and even more importantly in the professional ones. Take a second look at what you've written -- unless it's as simple as suggesting a time for lunch, for example -- and be sure there's no way the recipient can misinterpret your words. If you mean your email to be biting, will you have reason to regret it an hour from now? Or even two minutes from now?
If the subject is serious, something that could affect a relationship, wait to respond, rather than replying in the heat of the moment. I sometimes write scathing emails, then go back and take out all the incendiary language. That gives me the satisfaction, without the repercussions.
If you've ever fired off a quick email and had cause to regret it, tell us about that. Of if you've ever received one that hurt your feelings -- intentionally or not -- tell us how you handled that. Did you pick up the phone? Fire off an angry email in response?
I'm curious about the impact all this may be having on civility and any experiences you'd care to share. Either click on "comments" below or send me an email at
Sherryl703@gmail.com.
Sherryl Woods
How often, in a business or personal situation, have you started to fire off an angry email in a fit of annoyance or exasperation, only to stop yourself at the last second? Or, worse, how often have you hit SEND, only to regret it the next second?
That's the thing about email. It's quick and all-too-easy to react impulsively, not choosing our words with care. And as if that alone wouldn't be bad enough, an email doesn't come with an image of the sender or his or her tone of voice. Next thing you know that quick response has been misinterpreted, taken as a serious or biting comment, rather than the witty little joke you meant to make. And someone's feelings are hurt. Or there's a rift in a friendship or business relationship.
I've certainly received my share of emails from strangers, family or friends that imply a negative tone that may not be intended at all. Sometimes I'm tempted to fire back an equally snippy comment. Sometimes I've even done just that, only to find out the person who sent the original email never intended the message I received.
So, here's something to consider, even in the most casual email exchanges...and even more importantly in the professional ones. Take a second look at what you've written -- unless it's as simple as suggesting a time for lunch, for example -- and be sure there's no way the recipient can misinterpret your words. If you mean your email to be biting, will you have reason to regret it an hour from now? Or even two minutes from now?
If the subject is serious, something that could affect a relationship, wait to respond, rather than replying in the heat of the moment. I sometimes write scathing emails, then go back and take out all the incendiary language. That gives me the satisfaction, without the repercussions.
If you've ever fired off a quick email and had cause to regret it, tell us about that. Of if you've ever received one that hurt your feelings -- intentionally or not -- tell us how you handled that. Did you pick up the phone? Fire off an angry email in response?
I'm curious about the impact all this may be having on civility and any experiences you'd care to share. Either click on "comments" below or send me an email at
Sherryl703@gmail.com.
Sherryl Woods
Labels: Email etiquette
posted by Just Between Friends at
8:42 AM
2 Comments:
Sherryl,
Sure, I've made that mistake of basically trying to discuss something serious over e-mail. A tone was mistaken and then I had to end up calling the person to be more clear about what and how I was trying to say something. E-mail can be useful but when it comes to confrontations...it should be face-to-face or over the phone. Same thing with texting-not the best way to communicate when emotions can get mistakenly blurred.
Sherryl, I saw this topic and had to post. I just had a problem at work for an e-mail that had been misinterpreted and I am actually banned from writing to that person per my boss until things "cool" down. I really liked the person I was e-mailing and have had a good "e-mailing" relationship with her up till now. She took something I said as insulting and it was not at all meant that way. I even ended the e-mail with Thank you as always for your help, you're great! I guess she just read right over that part. I had the same conversation with my boss regarding e-mails that you have here, about how they can be misinterpreted since you are not seeing the person's expression or hearing their tone. Since this unfortunate incident, everyone gets the briefest of e-mails in bullet points as my boss has instructed. They now look cold and unfriendly in my opinion. Maybe what we should do is start to add disclaimers to the bottom of our e-mails. "The contents of this e-mail are in no way meant to insult, condemn or otherwise bring harm to the recipient"
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